late confessions
I'm not what you want,
just what you need
»
kimpissable:

clevverbot:

UH NO. EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING MAKE A BURGER
FIRST OF ALL, THE PICKLES ARE ALL ON ONE SIDE OF THE FUCKING THING, SO YOU’LL EITHER HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BURGER TO ENJOY THE PICKLES OR YOU’LL HAVE TO FACE THEM HEAD ON WHEN YOU START EATING IT
SECOND, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT KETCHUP DIRECTLY ON THE FUCKING PICKLES THEY’RE ALREADY SOUR ENOUGH, YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE A FUCKING OVERLOAD OF FLAVOR AND THOSE PARTICULAR BITES AREN’T GOING TO BE VERY GOOD
AND THIRD, THAT CHEESE IS NOT FUCKING CENTERED ONTO THE FUCKING BURGER YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE TWO OR THREE BITES WITHOUT CHEESE AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE FIVE BITES WITH TOO MUCH CHEESE BECAUSE IT’S NOT FUCKING CENTERED
I AM DISAPPOINTED SPONGEBOB FIRST YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT, NOW YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE A FUCKING KRABBY PATTY RIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 15 FUCKING YEARS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

shhh the pickles are sleeping

kimpissable:

clevverbot:

UH NO. EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING MAKE A BURGER

FIRST OF ALL, THE PICKLES ARE ALL ON ONE SIDE OF THE FUCKING THING, SO YOU’LL EITHER HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BURGER TO ENJOY THE PICKLES OR YOU’LL HAVE TO FACE THEM HEAD ON WHEN YOU START EATING IT

SECOND, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT KETCHUP DIRECTLY ON THE FUCKING PICKLES THEY’RE ALREADY SOUR ENOUGH, YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE A FUCKING OVERLOAD OF FLAVOR AND THOSE PARTICULAR BITES AREN’T GOING TO BE VERY GOOD

AND THIRD, THAT CHEESE IS NOT FUCKING CENTERED ONTO THE FUCKING BURGER YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE TWO OR THREE BITES WITHOUT CHEESE AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE FIVE BITES WITH TOO MUCH CHEESE BECAUSE IT’S NOT FUCKING CENTERED

I AM DISAPPOINTED SPONGEBOB FIRST YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT, NOW YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE A FUCKING KRABBY PATTY RIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 15 FUCKING YEARS
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

shhh the pickles are sleeping

1 month ago on June 24th, 2014 |577,118 notes

ladyhistory:

Even more captioned adventures of George Washington.

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV

1 month ago on June 18th, 2014 |183,298 notes

peaceloveunity20:

handaxe:

handaxe:

What’s the difference between america and yogurt?

If u leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture

oh shit

1 month ago on June 18th, 2014 |135,720 notes

wetheurban:

SPOTLIGHT: Modern Remakes of Famous Paintings

The amount of feels this post gives us! We all probably know these beloved Western art masterpieces, but not like this! Here are 20 great examples of classic paintings that have been reproduced creatively by a few very creative art lovers with photo cameras.

Read More

1 month ago on June 18th, 2014 |23,294 notes

Let’s hop in the car and drive all night, no need for talk, doesn’t matter where we’re headed- anywhere will do, I just want you by my side as I drive into fear and the beautiful potential of galaxies.

Let’s hop in the car and drive all night, no need for talk, doesn’t matter where we’re headed- anywhere will do, I just want you by my side as I drive into fear and the beautiful potential of galaxies.

1 month ago on June 16th, 2014 |242,233 notes
1 month ago on June 16th, 2014 |695 notes
All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.
- Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven   (via herzmasochismus)
1 month ago on June 16th, 2014 |21,611 notes

I need you
to be patient with me.
Sometimes you will find me
curled up like the cat
and you will have to tell me
you are
you are
you are.

Sometimes you will need to hold my hands
so they do not mindlessly graze
over broken ribs
softly nestled behind flesh.

And sometimes you will have to let me go
so I may be reminded
that I saved myself many a times,
and I can do it again.
I need you
to be patient with me.

- Michelle K., Patient With Me. (via michellekpoems)
1 month ago on June 16th, 2014 |20,064 notes
The things I’d do to wake up next to you
1 month ago on June 16th, 2014 |11,680 notes
I don’t want anything from you, at all. I just want to be the person you choose to sit next to in a room full with all the people you have known.
- (via pumbra)
1 month ago on June 16th, 2014 |95,575 notes
dead-and-scarred:

the-pale-m00nlight:

find your best posts here in the pale moonlight xx

love this

dead-and-scarred:

the-pale-m00nlight:

find your best posts here in the pale moonlight xx

love this

1 month ago on June 4th, 2014 |42 notes
1 month ago on June 4th, 2014 |17,537 notes
girldoesnothing:

tonidorsay:

I travel the world for the perfect tea
Everybody’s looking for Darjeeling

Some of them want to infuse you
Some of them want to be infused by you

girldoesnothing:

tonidorsay:

I travel the world for the perfect tea

Everybody’s looking for Darjeeling

Some of them want to infuse you

Some of them want to be infused by you

1 month ago on June 4th, 2014 |166,870 notes

Sofia Vergara reads mean tweet.

1 month ago on May 31st, 2014 |335,069 notes

fuckyeahawesomehouses:

Serene Chalet Bathrooms

1 month ago on May 31st, 2014 |15,001 notes